C is For
by Dream Writer 4 Life
Summary: Syd is sick of not knowing Vaughn’s middle name, so she takes it upon herself to figure it out. Fluffy musings a la Sydney Bristow. A Dream Writer Experience.


**Title:** C is For…  
**Author:** Dream Writer 4 Life  
**Rating:** PG for language  
**Genre:** Fluffy Humour/Romance  
**'Shippers' Paradise:** S/V  
**Spoilers/Timeline:** Anytime after "Phase One" and before those last two minutes of "The Telling"  
**Archived:** Here, Cover Me, and SD-1. Anywhere else just ask and you shall receive!  
**Summary:** Syd is sick of not knowing Vaughn's middle name, so she takes it upon herself to figure it out. Fluffy musings _á la_ Sydney Bristow. A Dream Writer Experience.  
**Disclaimer:** Don't own anything. But I do own the speculations about Vaughn's middle name.  
**Author's Note:** Vaughn's lack of a middle name has been bothering me, and I just decided to whip up a short vignette about it. Just maybe the same thing secretly bugged Syd as well. Enjoy! I love feedback and constructive criticism! Props to Annie, my beta!

* * *

C is For…  


God, I feel like a freakin' children's book. "C is for cat. C is for cow. C is for candy. C is for couldIcareanylesswhatwordsstartwiththeletterc!" I never liked those books, anyway: they never really taught you anything, if you think about it. When you're two years old you take things literally. If someone says that the letter T is for Tiger, you take it to mean that T is actually _for_ the tiger, and you tend to want to just give him the damn letter; you don't want to get in between that thing and whatever he wants. So what do you actually learn from all of this? Nothing, because everything you _thought_ it taught you had to be corrected by years of remedial teaching and in-depth therapy. You know, to get rid of your fear of tigers.

But I digress.

Now what started me on that diatribe?

Oh yeah.

The letter C.

Without sounding like a therapy-inducing children's book, let me explain what my fascination with the letter C stems from. C is the beginning of so many words that it's slightly disconcerting: chair, couch, cologne. Good words: caring, charismatic, chaste, champion, curvaceous, centred, chiseled, comedic. Bad words: crap, conniving, careless, cancer, colicky, covert, CIA.

But I seriously doubt that Vaughn's middle name is Constipated.

That's the _real_ reason that I'm obsessed with the letter C.

Because it's Vaughn's middle initial.

Michael C. Vaughn.

And he won't tell me what it stands for, damn him.

I've tried to pry the information out of him in every way possible: begging, blurting out the question randomly, tempting him with sexual favours, even asking outright! He either avoids the question completely or answers it with another question like, "How 'bout those dung beetles, huh? Aren't they the craziest bugs _ever?"_ Cut the crap and answer the damn question! He's making me insane!

So I've decided to take it upon myself to figure out what that initial stands for.

Stupid letter.

I've been leafing through all the magazines and books I could get my hands on for the past few hours and chronicling all the C names I could find. From that immensely large selection, I've concocted my list of the Top Six Names that Would be Acceptable as Michael Vaughn's Middle Name. Inversely, I have the Top Six Names that Would be a Total and Complete Crime Against Humanity if They Were Michael Vaughn's Middle Name. Let's start with the good ones.

I watched American Idol like almost every other person in this country (even if it was through Francie acting it out every Friday night I was home). Along with that I picked a favourite: Clay, because he was from one of the Carolinas, which is near where I was born. The guy was so cute, what with his Southern accent, eccentric sense of style, and great voice. If Clay were Vaughn's middle name, I wouldn't be horribly disappointed. Michael Clay Vaughn…It has too many L's…Oh well.

Cameron. I once knew a guy in second grade whose name was Cameron. Every time he got in trouble or did something wrong, he'd bang his head violently against the nearest hard surface. Weird kid, nice name. Michael Cameron Vaughn: too many N's this time.

Trips to the beach in LA include barely clothed women and many "surfer dudes". Over the roar of the waves you can hear the boarders calling out to one another in their own language that not even I care to decipher. Surprisingly, the name you hear most is Chad. Now that I think about it, the word sounds like it _belongs_ to Abercrombie & Fitch or Pacific Sunwear; I have a feeling that everyone named Chad has blonde hair, wears board shorts and backwards visors, and has an itty-bitty IQ. Not the kind of connotation that I want Vaughn to have. Michael Chad Vaughn…I don't really like it anyway.

When I was young, I remember playing with my parents' vinyl records. One of my favourites was John Coletrain. It would be so cool if he was named after a famous musician! Except…oops. Heh, heh. I'm blushing like a fine wine right about now. John Coletrain was popular _after_ Vaughn was born, so that wouldn't exactly make sense, would it? Michael Coletrain Vaughn…you've got too many L's _and_ N's this time…It's too clumsy...

A very probable middle name is Claude. Not very chic in English but extremely sexy in French. Michel Claude Vaughn…damn L's; they're almost as bad as C's.

I'll leave the most likely c-word for last; wouldn't want to ruin the rest of this? Keep the suspense, right?

And now I, Sydney _Anne_ Bristow, will introduce my Top Six Names that Would be a Total and Complete Crime Against Humanity if They Were Michael Vaughn's Middle Name. (See _I_ have a _real_ middle name. And no one had to guess it.)

I was reading a book a while back and came across the name Charmont. I almost gagged on the spot. It's a good name for a fairy tale Prince Charming and all but Michael Charmont Vaughn?! Honestly! Come on!

Carey…it's a girl's name just spelled a different way. Michael Carey Vaughn…doesn't sound that bad but…_it's a girl's name_! Ick! I just can't get over that.

The name Clapton is next on my list because…well, just because I have a particular feeling of dislike towards Eric Clapton (grr). And anyways, the man was after Vaughn's time, so the possibility isn't possible.

Cate. Now, besides being another girl's name, _it's Cate. As in Cato Calin._ Yeah, more bad connotations that are not desirable.

You wanna hear something funny? _Cacavas!_ Tee hee! Great word, bad name. Plus, I think it's Latino in origin. Don't think he'd like that much; you know, what with his family being _French_ and all.

And the worst of all: Cox. I think that one is pretty much self-explanatory.

Michael Christopher Vaughn.

Yes, that is the most probable full name of my loving boyfriend. It's normal, transcends ethnicity, and I don't have any vendettas out against anyone named Christopher. (At least I don't think so. It's so hard to keep track of my enemies nowadays…)

Now, I hope this wasn't as scarring as those accursed children's books that we discussed earlier. And even if I think I've figured out what that middle initial stands for, he'll probably tug the rug out from under me and pull a name out of left field (or somewhere else, if you catch my drift). Honestly, do I really care if the C stands for something good or bad? I suppose I should — being a woman that plays the game Match Your First Name with His Last Name on a regular basis despite the lack of varied results — but I don't. All I _care_ about is that he's _cute_. Being _caring, charming, _and _completelyandtotallyinlovewithme_ doesn't hurt either.

**_END_**


End file.
